“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
Socrates
Gossip can be brutal on a friendship, so why do we continue doing it? One reason is that it makes us feel good. There is something about sharing a juicy bit of information with another person that helps us look at our own life in a more positive way.
The ugliest part of why gossip makes us feel good is because we do it as a way to feel better about ourselves. We might even believe that for that short time we are better than someone else, because we do not behave as they do, have the problems they do and so on…..
The ironic part is that we have our own problems and issues, so why judge someone else? That momentary feeling we have of being superior does not last very long when we turn the spotlight on our self.
Gossip is sometimes used as a way to get back at a person who has hurt us. We avoid conflict because we think it is better to maintain a fake but positive ‘front’ to our friend, all while talking about them when their back is turned. We convince our self that is okay, but by gossiping we are fueling hatred.
Someone with low self-esteem may feel like they need to gossip in order to fit in. Perhaps they really do not feel that someone could value them enough to have a real friendship, so they do what everyone else is doing in order to be included .
Mostly, people gossip because they think it is harmless. To be fair, a little bit of gossip is not going to end a friendship, but we always need to monitor our intent when we engage in gossip. A bit of silly gossip just for a moment might not hurt someone, but malicious and continued gossip may ignite devastating results. The only way we can be sure of not hurting someone through gossip is to not do it at all.
“How would your life be different if…You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day…You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.”
Steve Maraboli
appliedalliance 