Jealousy injures us with the dagger of self-doubt.’
Terri Guillemets

Jealousy is not a rare emotion – many of us feel it now and then. Jealousy can bring you down and even pull apart a relationship; it can also be a signal to you that it is time to change something in your life.

A combination of fear and anger, jealousy is fed by the fear of losing someone and anger that someone else is ‘moving in’ on the person or situation that is of value to you personally. It is a destructive and contemptible emotion and little good can come of it, so recognition of its occurrence is your number one self defense.

The contemptible, negative emotions have a role in our lives. Some of the things jealousy might be teaching you include:

You maybe afraid someone else will take your job, role, position. In this case, it is probable that you are afraid of financial insecurity (survival instinct) or you feel that you are an impostor in your role, this is an all-too-commonly held false belief in many high-achieving people in the work environment. Trust your ability, remember your strengths and build on them.

Trust yourself. Trust begins at home, with yourself. Begin by making a list of all your good points. Stick this list up somewhere that you can see it regularly, to remind yourself that you are fully equipped with great talent and skills already. Only compare yourself to yourself, always trying to build on your last achievement without worrying what other people are doing. Start to value yourself.

‘Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative – self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it’s a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.’
Jennifer James


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