Seeing The Truth


“Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky

We are all human, we all make mistakes and have strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has areas where they need to improve. But they are hard to identify…. it is hard because of self deception. It is part of our automatic human defense mechanism. It is there precisely to prevent us from getting hurt. But in order to grow and have greater success, we must be able to identify the points in our lives when we are lying to ourselves.

We all have tunnel vision to some extent. Realising that your truth is just that – your truth. You are deceiving yourself by thinking that the way you see the world is the only way to see the world. It is this kind of narrow approach that gets people into endless arguments from which they won’t back down, as they try to enforce their reality onto others, denying the reality of anyone else.

It is hard to notice when you are deceiving yourself. Some clues are when things are not going well for you, but you are not sure why. Or success and fun are not coming easily. When that happens to me, I have found that the best way to change things is to remove myself from the situation, spend a bit of time alone. Do some exercise. Reflect on what I was deceiving myself about, and then try to push through and figure out why I was doing it. I then come back with a clearer head and start to approach the problem from a different angle.

Sometimes, you know you are lying to yourself but the inner voice that is urging you to deceive yourself screams more loudly. Allow yourself the space to spot the lies you tell yourself so you can begin to move behond your limitations and grow to your full potential.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky


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