In Your Head



‘Every waking moments we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.’
John Lembo

We have about 50,000 thoughts a day most of which are automatic. Our internal self-talk will be a mixture of positive, negative and neutral thoughts, this internal dialogue can influence our feelings and behaviours. If our self talk is mainly negative, harsh and unrealistic it can exasperate any stress we are under.

I have noticed that my negative self-talk increases when I am stressed. Our self talk can be rigid, inflexible against ourselves, life, or other people and this increases our stress. If we think we are a failure or useless we just tend to accept it.

Behind these stressful feelings are untrue thoughts. When you recognise that the thoughts are not true, you can reduce the suffering. When you change your thoughts, you reduce your levels of stress.

When we are under chronic stress our thinking becomes more negative, while these negative thoughts can help us to deal with a physical threat, it makes every day life more difficult.

To help to reduce your stress it is important to identify these automatic negative thoughts…they are automatic (Just pop into your head without us choosing), are an inaccurate assessment, are unrealistic and unreasonable, making you feel worse and tend to be excessively pessimistic.

Half the battle in dealing with automatic thoughts is identifying them. Once you have identified them, you can challenge them to assess their accuracy.

You can change the negative self talk to one that is more realistic, optimistic and accurate. Research has shown that positive self talk helps to reduce stress. It is not about putting a positive spin on something awful that happens to us but it is about seeing the events that happen to us, in balance.

Take a closer look at what you are saying to yourself today.

‘Your negative self-talk is like a virus that infects your self-esteem and self-confidence.’
Jerry Bruckner


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