“Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know more.”

Imagine you are with a good friend and he or she says ”You did a great job with this… but……” or ”really like your new hairstyle…….but . What happens in your mind when the person says that little word – even before they say anything else?

The word BUT puts a negative emphasis or cancels everything that comes before it. And is generally seen as a signal that the really important part of the sentence is coming up.

Maybe the person speaking intends to be helpful or complimentary. But they then step on this verbal ‘landmine’ which then destroys the positive effect they were trying to create.

There are other ways of having the same effect without using the word. For example, ‘yet’ and ‘however’ can be used without the same negative impact.

Begin today to try to replace your ”BUT‘s” in your conversation with the word ”AND”. Try it for the next 7 days and see it become a positive change in your communication.

“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.”
Jodi Picoult


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