A ‘Yes’ Pleaser

 

012112-dontbeayesman

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‘A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.’
Mahatma Gandhi

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All of us, at one time or another if not most of the time, go through life half-asleep with blinkers on, unaware of our agreements, or caught up in habits born mainly out of insecurity.

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Do you have the habit of saying ‘yes’ when you mean no? Feeling obligated to act according to someone else’s wishes, staying at a job that is going no where, or not having the courage to move on in a relationship when it is over? We say ‘YES’ because we are afraid of displeasing or disappointing others. We say ‘YES’ because we hate confrontation or a challenge.

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The most important thing we can do is be who we really are. And who you really are is not someone who agrees to live someone else’s life by constantly trying to fit into their shoes.

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It really is a no-win situation. But we all do it, because it is so often what we are brought up to do. But once we recognise it, it is time to start behaving differently.

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Start by being more assertive. Some people believe that being assertive turns otherwise ‘nice’ people into bad tempered, conniving manipulators. Nothing could be more untrue. Assertiveness is about expressing your honest feelings and wishes, not manipulating or controlling others.

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Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about our wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others. When you are assertive, you ask for what you want but you do not necessarily get it.

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As we learn and develop into being more assertive our productivity and efficiency increases. Begin today and start to see how being more assertive enables you to work better with people and notice how they value you more..

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“Yes and No are very short words to say, but we should think for some length of time before saying them.”

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