Negative Self Talk

self-talk-poster-2-15-13

 

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Every waking moments we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.’
John Lembo

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We have about 50,000 thoughts a day most of which are automatic. Our internal self-talk will be a mixture of positive, negative and neutral thoughts, this internal dialogue can influence our feelings and behaviours. If our self talk is mainly negative, harsh and unrealistic it can exasperate any stress we are under.

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Most of us do not realise it, but as we go about our daily lives we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. It’s as though we have an internal voice inside our head that determines how we perceive every situation.

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I have noticed that my negative self talk increases when I am stressed. Our self talk can be rigid, inflexible against ourselves, life, or other people and this increases our stress. If we think we are a failure or useless we just tend to accept it.

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Behind these stressful feelings are untrue thoughts. When we recognise that the thoughts are not true, we can reduce the suffering. When we change our thoughts, we reduce our levels of stress.

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When we are under chronic stress our thinking becomes more negative, while these negative thoughts would help us to deal with a physical threat, it makes complex problem solving more difficult.

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To help to reduce our stress it is important to identify these automatic negative thoughts…they are automatic (Just pop into our head without us choosing), are an inaccurate assessment, are unrealistic and unreasonable, making us feel worse and tend to be excessively pessimistic.

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Half the battle in dealing with automatic thoughts is identifying them. Once you have identified them, you can challenge them to assess their accuracy.

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You can change the negative self talk to one that is more realistic, optimistic and accurate. Research has shown that positive self talk helps to reduce stress. It is not about putting a positive spin on something awful that happens to us but it is about seeing the events that happen to us, in balance.

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You can conquer your negative self talk today by asking yourself  ”Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals? What can I do that will help me solve the problem? Or is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time’‘? Begin to do it every time you catch yourself thinking something negative to yourself.

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‘Your negative self-talk is like a virus that infects your self-esteem and self-confidence.’
Jerry Bruckner

 

 


2 thoughts on “Negative Self Talk

  1. I try to spend my self-talk time during a stressful event planning how to get out of it. Once I focus on finding a solution, the problem itself seems less like an immediate threat.

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