Seeking Validation

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“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”
Confucius

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The need for approval kills freedom……Trust me, I know, because I spent apart of my life seeking approval until I realised it was a waste of time and did not work anyway. Do you constantly make choices to avoid disapproval or criticism, rather than what is most valuable, effective or important to you? Do you hold yourself back from speaking your opinions or hide your true self?

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Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will can, be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can not please everyone and there is no need to try.

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The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be ourselves, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.

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We can give ourselves that which we are seeking, which in most cases is love and acceptance. The source of much of our pain and suffering, as well as our joy and happiness, is us. So often we are looking for others to give to us that which we need to give to ourselves. When we love and approve of ourselves, two important things happen. First of all, we become less needy of the approval of others. Second, because we are giving it to ourselves and are not as needy of it from others, we often get even more love and acceptance from those around us.

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Start today to be honest with yourself when you take on a new task or commitment, whether you are doing it because it is ‘right’ for you or because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval. And remind yourself that it is your choice, decide to give yourself validation for just being you.

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“An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!”
Mandy Hale

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