To Live



“Don’t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you’re not taking advantage of it? Do you realize you’ve lived nearly half the time you have to live already?”
Ernest Hemingway

Sometimes in times of difficulty we shrink away from life. I can find myself closing myself off to life in all its fullness, I close myself off as a form of self defense.

It happens to all of us. When you left yourself open in the early part of your life, you maybe got hurt from time to time. That pain taught us to close ourselves off in different ways: don’t let others in, use humour to keep some distance, back away from anything new, and so on.

What does it mean to be open? It means that we accept more of life without judgment. It means we judge others less, criticise less, accept others more, and learn more about their wonderful particularity.

Judge less and accept more. It seems natural to judge others, but in doing so we close ourselves the truth about these people. The same is true when we judge all the things around us – we close ourselves to finding out more. If judgment is automatic, we need to get off autopilot and be more conscious. When we notice ourselves judging, instead, pause, seek to understand, and then to accept.

The defense mechanisms we build up over the years in response to painful experiences are many and varied. More importantly, we do not realise they are there most of the time, so they are automatic and thus powerful and hard to beat. Try to  learn to recognise them. When you find yourself not doing certain things, ask why. Maybe it is because you have had a bad experience in the past. When you find yourself hurting people, ask why. When you find yourself shutting people or experiences out, ask why.

A shut down heart makes it impossible to open up and allow in happiness, great opportunities, and good people. However, when you open your heart, you have room for growth, forgiveness, and change.

And remember. if you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present. Every day is a chance to try something new, seize an opportunity and run with it. Are you open to living your life to the full?

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
C. JoyBell C.

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