A Great Healer

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“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
Steve Maraboli

Forgiveness is not always an option, especially when someone has been severely hurt. They say that time is a great healer, and sometimes time is the only way.

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It is not about letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves so that we can move forwards in our lives and not continue to suffer. When forgiveness is possible, it is a conscious choice and it is a gift to You.

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It also benefits us psychologically. Stanford University gave forgiveness training to men and women who had tragically lost their parents, spouses, siblings, or children in Northern Ireland. After the forgiveness training most of them had significant reductions in hurt, anger, stress, and depression.

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Learning from some of this forgiveness research and personal experience. Here are some Forgiveness ideas.

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Make a determined decision to forgive

Acknowledge that forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook, but about freeing yourself so that you can fully get on with your life.

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Realise it is good for you to let go

Acknowledge that forgiveness will benefit your mental and emotional health, the health of your heart, and help you to move on with your life.

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Find Empathy

Acknowledge that you too may have hurt people in the past, and from this way of thinking try to develop some empathy for the person who has hurt you, if that is possible. Could their behaviour have been the result of some way they have been hurt in the past? Could they have had a bad childhood? Could they have now changed, as you might have done? When we develop empathy, it makes forgiveness much easier.

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Take responsibility

This is about doing something positive that demonstrates to yourself that you have moved on. What have you not done because you have been holding onto the past? Are you ready to do it now?

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Decide to let it go; simply for the reason that it is too heavy. Today let go of the weight you you have been carry around for too long.

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“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
Khaled Hossein

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