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“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”
Confucius
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We all have techniques we depend on to lift our spirits when we are feeling down about ourselves or our lives. So often we turn to external validation. How are you letting others define you? What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
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When we are content to simply be our self, without comparing and competing to impress others we begin to notice that everyone worthwhile begins to show us respect…….. And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.
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Get in the habit of telling yourself, “I have a right to feel how I feel.” This will help you understand your feelings and work through them more easily, especially as you try to less deeply embedded in negativity about yourself.
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We are all unique individuals. No one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they cannot feel what you are going through; they are not living your life. Try to forget what they think and say about you. Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet. What feels right for you.
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Those who accept you are your friends. Those who do not are your teachers. If someone calls you something and it is true, it is not your problem because it is true. If someone calls you something and it is not true, it is not your problem because it is not true. Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem. What other people call you is their problem…
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What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your choice. Often, times when we are feeling negative towards ourselves, we feel a (sometimes subconscious) desire to punish ourselves. When we reject or deprive ourselves in this way, we exacerbate our feelings, because we then feel bad about two things: the original incident and the pain you are causing ourselves.
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If you are feeling down, or down on yourself, ask yourself: “What does my body need? What does my mind need? What does my spirit need?” Or put another way: What will make you feel better, more stable, healthier, and more balanced?
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You can help yourself…….You may find that you need to take a walk to feel more energised, take a nap to feel better rested, practice deep breathing to clear your head, or drink some water to hydrate yourself.
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When we have the courage to let the walls down – to understand and embrace ourselves, despite our human failings, we open the door to connecting in a more caring, emphatic, intimate way with the ones we love and with all living things.
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Choose to recognise your strengths today as you grow and strive to validate yourself. Remember, seeking validation is the same as saying ”Tell me who I am! Tell me how much I’m worth!”…….. Tell yourself!
”You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.”
Yogi Bhajan
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