Improving Inner Thoughts





Every waking moments we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act.”

John Lembo


We have about 50,000 thoughts a day most of which are automatic. Our internal self-talk will be a mixture of positive, negative and neutral thoughts, this internal dialogue can influence our feelings and behaviours. If our self talk is mainly negative, harsh and unrealistic it can exasperate any stress we are under.


Most of us do  not realise it, but as we go about our daily lives we are constantly thinking about and interpreting the situations we find ourselves in. It is as though we have an internal voice inside our head that determines how we perceive every situation.


I have noticed that my negative self talk increases when I am stressed. Our self talk can be rigid, inflexible against ourselves, life, or other people and this increases our stress. If we think we are a failure or useless we just tend to accept it.


Behind these stressful feelings are untrue thoughts. When we recognise that the thoughts are not true, we can reduce the suffering. When we change our thoughts, we reduce our levels of stress.


When we are under chronic stress our thinking becomes more negative, while these negative thoughts would help us to deal with a physical threat, it makes complex problem solving more difficult.


To help to reduce our stress it is important to identify these automatic negative thoughts…they are automatic (Just pop into our head without  us choosing), are an inaccurate assessment, are unrealistic and unreasonable, making us feel worse and tend to be excessively pessimistic.


Half the battle in dealing with automatic thoughts is identifying them.   Once you have identified them, you can challenge them to assess their accuracy.


You can change the negative self talk to one that is more realistic, optimistic and accurate.  Research has shown that positive self-talk helps to reduce stress. It is not about putting a positive spin on something awful that happens to us but it is about seeing the events that happen to us, in balance.


Try this exercise to help you improve how you feel about yourself ;

Keep a pad of paper next to your bed and every night before you go to sleep, write down three things you liked about yourself that day.


In the morning, read the list before you get out of bed.


Keep adding 3 new things to your list everyday to keep the list growing.


Do this everyday for 30 days……. Beginning today.


”Your negative self-talk is like a virus that infects your self-esteem and self-confidence.”

Jerry Bruckner     


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