Letting Go

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“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
Steve Maraboli

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Do you need everything to be just the way you want it to be?

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When you try to control someone or something, realise that you are actually wanting to be controlled by that person or thing. Since your freedom depends on the person or thing you want to control, the person or thing gets to decide how you feel. So are you not being a victim and being controlled by the person or thing?


Most people want control because of fear.

Some are afraid that their friends and family would change.
Some are afraid of the unknown and uncertainties.
Some act out of jealousy, insecurities and lack of trust.
Some are afraid that their beliefs get threatened.
Some are afraid of making mistakes and looking bad in front of others.

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Whatever it is, address your underlying fears or emotions. Ask yourself: “What are you afraid to lose from letting go?”

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Letting go of control is not the same as losing control. Letting go of control is letting go of the feelings and illusions that you are out of control. The reason why you want control in the first place is because you think you lack control.

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People who want to control everything are very willing to change others and their circumstances, but not so willing to change themselves…..Realise that the person who probably needs change the most is yourself.

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If you do not want other people to distract you at work, ask yourself, “Have you set boundaries and communicate your boundaries clearly to your colleagues?” If you want your children to do something, have you led by example and done it yourself? If you want your partner to spend more time with you, have you taken the effort to schedule time for it and plan for activities?

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By changing yourself does not guarantee that other people do what you want. But at least, you have done your part. In most case, control is not what you need most, change is.

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Remember, if you think that life is beautiful and on your side, you won’t try so hard to control everything. You will be  open to the opportunities it brings and accept whatever it gives you……..Something are just beyond your control.

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“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.”
Steve Maraboli

 


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