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“I couldn’t help but feel as if everyone had lied about everything. We all had secrets. We all had a dark side to our innocent cover. I wondered what we would be like, if we had been completely honest with each other in the first place.”
Shannon A. Thompson
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We all have a part of us which we may not be that proud of. It is an accumulation of our stored ‘darkness’ that we avoid looking at and accepting. It is everything we reject and dislike within us such as our own anger, jealousy, fear, shame, lies, ignorance, intolerance, bitterness.
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Our shadow holds everything we think is ‘bad’ and since we prefer to accept our ‘good’ qualities….all of our deepest darkest secrets get pushed to the background. This includes our fears, insecurities, past mistakes and poor decisions.
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Questions to ask yourself to cast light on your dark area include;
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What judgments do you have about other people? These judgments show your hidden aspects that bother you. Once you acknowledge them, other people’s behaviours will begin to bother you less.
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What scenarios and behaviours in your life are repetitive? Do you keep attracting the same kind of negative people in your life? What lesson are they trying to teach you?
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Try to be really honest with yourself and make a list of all the things about yourself you try to hide from others. It takes a lot more energy to hide these aspects from yourself and others than it does to acknowledge them and work on them.
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Where are you being inauthentic in your interactions? In what situations do you put on a ‘mask’? What are you hiding?
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There is a story about Milarepa, the Tibetan saint, who came home one night after a long day at work and found his home filled with fire-breathing dragons. At first, he cursed them and ordered them to leave, but they breathed even hotter fire and moved closer to him. He continued cursing them and they continued to advance toward him. Finally, Milarepa stopped, and instead of cursing them, he welcomed them and invited them into his home. Upon hearing this they all disappeared. Call the shadow’s like Milarepa did and see what happens. Lions become kittens, dragons become cream puffs. But we must stand and face them first.
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What aspects of yourself do you keep hidden away? Decide to recognise them and face them down, starting today.
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“Only in the recognition and acceptance of our shadow side can we become whole, integrated, reconciled, and therefore truly and fully ourselves,”
Ruben Habito
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