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“Often we treat certain aspects of ourselves as junk, having no value. We try to throw parts of ourselves in the garbage. But a human being is an ecosystem, and everything in that system is of value to the whole.”
Stephen Schwartz
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We teach others how to treat us, by what we accept, and by how we treat ourselves.
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Becoming aware of the differences between how you treat others, and how you treat yourself, if the first step. Are you dismissive of yourself? Do you treat yourself with the same respect that you treat others? When someone says “Thank you” to you, do you say “You’re welcome”… or do you dismiss the “Thank you” as not necessary? Are you uncomfortable when someone thanks you or compliments you?
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These are all clues as to how you treat yourself and the example you set to others, of how you deserve to be treated. Start slowly, appreciating compliments, accepting thanks – thank yourself some time! It is a very funny feeling saying “Thank me“, but it can be very effective.
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Self kindness is to be supportive and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical or judgmental. Instead of tearing yourself to shreds when you make a mistake, soothe and comfort yourself, providing the caring concern needed to try again.
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Recognise the benefits of self compassion today. We are quite skilled at being kind, understanding and compassionate to those we care about. All you need to do is turn around and apply those same skills toward yourself……It is easier than you think, and it could change your life.
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‘‘Compassion isn’t some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we’re trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don’t even want to look at.”
Pema Chodron