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“Who I am stops me from being who I want to be. Who I want to be stops me from being who I am. I am who I am. I’m one of a kind. I am me.”
Kyle Tomaszewski
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Be who you are. Do not try to mimic anyone else. Be uniquely you, because (and this is quite amazing) there is no one else in this world exactly like you and never will be!
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If you continue to strive to be someone you are not, you will not only remain unhappy and unfulfilled, you will also deprive others of the gift of yourself – the very special ‘someone’ only you can give.
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Okay, so now you may wonder. . .“How can I be myself if I don’t really know who I am yet?”
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As adults, we have a more challenging road toward individuation than children, since we have spent decades layering on the defenses that keep us stuck in our persona masks as we push away from the unconscious. However, at some point the unconscious will bleed through, and cross the boundary into consciousness. These are the moments when you may make that Freudian slip, have that accidental loss of temper, or that unaccountable misbehaviour. Only through the process of taking back your disowned and projected shadow-material do you have an opportunity for self-actualization.
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Immerse yourself in a multitude of experiences and remind yourself of the interests and hobbies of your youth. Read, paint, attend concerts, scuba dive, attend cooking classes. Trying a variety of new things, even things you think you might not enjoy, allows you to discover inner talents and passions you may not have known existed when your parents or even your spouse was calling the shots.
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Take some time to sit with your unconscious, and listen to what you really think about your history, and what you would have done differently with that awareness.
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An important step toward individuation is a willingness to recognise and acknowledge the patterns of your behaviour. Once you begin to work toward your authentic self, you can begin to live as only you can live, and be the person you are meant to be.
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Then, what others think about you will not bother you. When you discover your true self, no one else can tell you who you are. If you take back and integrate your disowned shadow-material, you will reunite those parts of yourself that you have projected out onto others. It is this completion of the whole you that gives you the full thrust of your power.
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Now you can find your destiny, your authentic niche through being uniquely you.
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“Your journey is completely yours. It is unique. Others may try to steal part of it, tell it in their words or shape it to suit them. Reality is no one can live it or own it but you. Take charge of your journey, it’s yours and yours alone!”
Kemi Sogunle
appliedalliance 